Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
love makes seman taste better
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
