Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
