To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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