Don't you send me to vm
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
