I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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