if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize