so that wasnt chicken after all
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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