for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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