so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
as a side note pls kill me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
