No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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