1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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