why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
