Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
