remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
