Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she told me i tasted like america
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
