We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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