A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
