But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
