New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
