thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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