....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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