My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
