dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
