Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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