I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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