it was like his penis was on wheels.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This is my gift to your gina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
