We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
