It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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