He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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