Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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