You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize