I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
