after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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