Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
