Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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