Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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