i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize