no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
