Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
