Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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