physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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