Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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