I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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