we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it was like eating out sand paper
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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