All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
