Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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