so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
