put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
