when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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