Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
