I wish I could punch you in the face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
