He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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