i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
