Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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