Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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