you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
