I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize