he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
