he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
