fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
