Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
