all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
