I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
