Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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