So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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